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PAST NEWS – February 2003

February 15, 2003

Discussion Paper Provides Clinical Proof Infant Psycho-Gravitation Exists

"Dr. Burdenko's work finally proves what we have suspected for many years!" commented the excited Burmese Army spokesman Col. Saengakhuatr Soppataranen in Rangoon on Thursday. The discussion paper, entitled Infantile Magnetic Attraction and Repulsion, outlines the results of clinical trials related to the study of how infants are able to "control" gravity.

"It's really amazingly clear now. Who would have thought that cannons could be used within the noble pursuit of scientific discovery," Col. Saengakhuatr Soppataranen continued. "We are preparing to perform corroborative trials of our own in the very near future."

The Sciencist is proud to publish this discussion paper in PDF and Text Only formats.

 

February 1, 2003

Discussion Paper Outlines UFPS Background and Challenges Vigilance in Podiatry

Renowned scientist and lecture circuit mainstay, Danylo Burdenko, releases his eagerly anticipated report on recent advancements in shoe and monopodal pirate adaptation device [MPAD] history. The paper, entitled Toward the Establishment of a Universal Foot Pressure Standard, includes not only the recent decisions of the Banff Boards of Scientific Enquiry (I and II), but also recaps past debates of National Boards of Enquiry and the monumental 2002 Saarbrücken Conference.

The Sciencist is proud to publish this discussion paper in anticipation of the international adoption of the UFPS—a universal, equitable and scientific advancement unequalled in hominid history. Please enjoy it in PDF and Text Only formats.